I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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