too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
