how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize