Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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