what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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