Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
