At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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