Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
