I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dick very happy bro
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize