Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
