ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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