Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
