SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think my vagina is haunted
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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