that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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