Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
