3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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