I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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