even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize