Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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