I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
