We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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