Operation Purity has been aborted
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
