i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Panties = found
Randomize
