so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
