this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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