I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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