"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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