Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
