so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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