I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
