Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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