Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
