I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
