Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
