btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
