I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
