I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
