I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Of course I have a pirate flag
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
