He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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