Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
