I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
