kristin has been a bad kristin
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize