There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
