the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
