i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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