Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Apparently you make a good broom.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
