i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
