What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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