i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
