how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
