I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize