So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
NoShamevember. You game?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Randomize
