dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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