I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize