Small penises have feelings too.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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