I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she woke up with a sticky ear
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
