so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize