Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
