I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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