Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
