You just made me feel so damn special
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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