please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
